If your best friend is a bully, are you a bully?
If your best friend is a bully, are you a bully?
Yes. Or at the very least, there is so little difference between you and the bully that it is negligible. You are guilty by association.
If your best friend hurts people, and you stand by him or her, you are in fact condoning hurting people.
When I was young, a good friend started to flirt with bullying. The first time I noticed it, he was picking on a smaller kid in front of me. I told him to stop. He didn’t. I told him if a fight broke out, I wouldn’t help him. When he pushed the smaller kid too far, and a fight between them did break out, my friend lost. Badly.
Later, as he nursed his wounds, I told him blankly: I am glad you lost. You deserved it. And if you keep doing these things, we won’t be friends much longer.
It happened once more. And I watched my buddy get pummeled again by someone he sought to bully. He got beaten pretty badly, and as much as I wanted to help him, I didn’t. He didn’t deserve the back-up.
Soon after, the bullying phase passed and my buddy and I were able to resume our friendship, which has lasted decades. I didn’t give up on him in the beginning, because I knew why he was picking fights. His parents were getting divorced, he saw his world breaking up and there was nobody helping him picking up the pieces.
The way I tried to help was to say: I understand you are a good person, deep inside. I understand you are hurting. But if you seek to hurt others to compensate, you will lose the only friend standing by you.
I wish Donald Trump had a friend like that. I wish Donald had a friend who would tell him: Stop saying you want to punch protesters in the face, or telling rally attendees to beat the crap out of them or pretend you will pay the legal bills of those who partake in violence (Donald will not pay a dime.).
Donald supporters say they back him because he is a businessman who will make America great again. They dismiss his bad business record. They dismiss his lack of policy detail. They dismiss his lack of experience.
That’s fine.
But Donald supporters also ignore, downplay or diminish Donald’s bullying, bigotry and propensity to incite aggression, even violence, against those who disagree with him on what truly makes America great.
And that’s not fine. If you stand by a bully, you are a bully by association. If you stand by a bigot, you are helping spread that bigotry.
If you are best friends with a jerk, you are a jerk. If you can’t see that, you are blind to your own path.
If you support the notion of a smaller government, fewer taxes and protecting America’s freedom, you are an engaged member of the electorate. And there are plenty of candidates you can support with your vote not named Donald.
But if you vote for Donald, don’t pretend those values erase the hate, fear-mongering and violence that comes with standing behind — or next to — a Donald.
Daniel Vasquez is a member of the Sun Sentinel Editorial Board and can be reached at dvasquez@tribpub.com or on Twitter @ConsumerDan.